Question of the day

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

What you've been waiting for

After many cries of "blog Jody blog!!!" I have decided to give the people what they want. But instead of writing about what I miss or how much I love my fellow bookends... blah blah blah... I have decided to choose a more interesting topic.... myself. You see someone needs to write about themselves. Don't let the other bookends fool you into thinking that they miss everyone else sooo much. No at Christmas its all about yours truly. I have decided to give you a recap of my break thus far but instead of giving you a boring synopsis I have decided to give it in list form...

1. I went back to camp

2. I stood in the freezing rain for 4 hours greeting runners while I experienced loss of circulation in my toes due to my boat shoes flooding.... BOAT shoes, like what you are supposed to wear on the water...really?

3. I sat on the tarmac for an hour as we waited for the fog to clear in Atlanta then I ran through the ATL airport, almost took out a lady in a wheelchair and joined a group of hispanic student only to find out the pilot wasn't at the airplane. Said pilot also had to repark once we arrive in bham... fail delta!

4. I went to the beach... seagrove. We stopped at Bates House of Turkey... success. We are stopped at Old Mexico in Greenville and saw Casey Rogers.... double success

5. Everywhere is closed two weeks before Christmas at the beach and we may or may not have taken off the arm of a small child

6. Christmas was good... I got presents... the end

7. We went Christmas caroling at the nursing home and one of the residents said..."follow me this way to the normal people" she then tried to escape

8. I am repainting my room and I have decided that wallpaper is the invention of the devil and taking it down is a punishment worse than death.

9. Urban Meyer retired... and then didn't??

10. Ok yea maybe I miss everyone.. blah blah blah

Alas, I blog again.

Hello to all our readers out there! That consists of about, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,.....yep 7 people. Anyway, thank you to our "true fans" out there.

So, since my fellow bookends have been blogging about some of the things they miss the most about the good ole' AGD house, I figured I would give my two cents about some things.



1. I miss the aroma of nail polish/nail polish remover coming from our room...coughcough-Jodes-coughcough.


2. I miss freakishly shimmying across the floor in MA and LA's room.


3. I miss Kaila randomly walking into our room, even though she feels like she may be disturbing Jody's quiet time at lunch.


4. I miss people calling me Kat, Kath, Kathy, Kat-Dog, and last but not least, Katheter (thank you, MA). No one calls me that around my house. :-(


5. I miss waking up and not knowing if there are going to be any additional people on our sleeping porch who have straggled in from the swap the night before. Casey Rogers being the main one.


6. I do NOT miss having to wait in line for laundry and scribbling my variety of names on the dry-erase board.


7. I do NOT miss studying for hours upon hours for pathophysiology tests. Thank you, nursing school.


8. I somewhat miss people talking in their sleep on the sleeping porch. "NOOOOOOO, HELP!!!"


9. I miss zebra cake.


10. I miss telling Lolls to "Ooooooo, jump higher!"


11. I miss the kitchen raids.


12. I miss seeing people walking down the halls without parts of their clothing.


13. I miss seeing Jody's beautifully decorated calendar, conveniently placed so that I know exactly where she is going or what she has going on. Palm tree.


14. I miss Degrassi being deleted from the DVR.

15. I miss my little bedside fan. I WILL get my personal stool back if it's the last thing I do!

16. I miss the extremely frigid sleeping porch.

17. I miss Skype-ing across the room/down the hall from each other.

18. I miss Ms. Marcia's sandals with socks.

19. I do NOT miss veggie nights.

and last but not least,

20. I miss trying to convince people to go to Sonic with me. THEY TAKE BAMA CASH, PEOPLE!!!

That's all for now. I hope all of our blog-readers have a safe and happy new year! If in need of someone to clean up after you, I am sure Jodes will gladly volunteer. Adios for now!

Thoughts from the MIA Bookend

So everyone always comments on how I never contribute. Well in the spirit of the holidays I will write. I was so entertained by MA's post, I will give some things that I can always count on to entertain me, amuse me, make me smile, or just kind of make me want to scream.

1. There will always be at least 3 backpacks on mine and MA's floor. We are the luggage room.
2. Sage will always have her door open, peering at who might be coming down the hallway, I always have to pause and say hello as I walk by....Sad!!! Boo Ireland!
3. If MA doesn't have coffee or dark chocolate on her desk, something is seriously wrong.
4. Kathy has never eaten a vegetable.
5. The chicken salad at the house was made by angels.
6. Mr. Jerry will walk you to your car no matter what the condition, and no matter where your car is. He is amazing. I have to really struggle to get past him. superjerry
7. Where has Sargent Tom been?
8. Will Jody ever be done with tegrity?
9. How do you even spell tegrity?
10. Jody and MA spend an obscene amount of time at the rec.
11. Megan and Emily have and never will turn their light on in their room.
12. MA and I still have a pilgrims hat on our squirrel picture.
13. Duct tape doesn't work in our room.
14. Christmas lights are evil.
15. MA's wears a michael jackson glove to bed.
16. There will always be a squirrel in my bed on tuesday nights. Just to spite me and my freshly made bed.
17. Inevitably at least one night a week, someone will sleep in the den. I will retaliate.

tis the season

Greetings! This blog is dedicated to all of my fellow bloggers out there who I have longed for so much these past few days! In fact, I would like to discuss just exactly what it is that I have missed about school.

Things I have missed:

-Jody sliding her chair down to our room

-Kathy's ever so slight drumming of her fingers/scratching of her nails sorry excuse for a knock against our door

-Lash asking "How was your day?"

-Sage falling off the bed

-the squirrel on top of the Christmas tree

-Mr. Jerry's and my convos about melted cheese on broccoli

-sleeping on the basement couches

-classy.

-being greeted by Miss Pinkie in the morning. Did you know she has a twin sister? But not her twin, of course.

Things I have done ok without:

-study snacks

-passive aggressive signs informing me that I am a terrible person

-the smell of week-old shrimp in the laundry room

-people doing laundry in the laundry room

-my bunk bed that is incapable of holding a tucked sheet

-the -35 degree sleeping porch that was beginning to give me hypo

-our falling down Christmas lights

-my perpetually empty mail box. no one loves me anymore.

-staring at the loading hourglass on the study room computers for a solid hour while losing any grasp of the outside world and the time passing by.

Tales from the Crimson Ride

The crimson ride-more lovingly known as the crimson crawl or the loser cruiser- is the bane of my existence. Not only does it try to run over me as I am running and takes five years to drive a 10 minute route it also does not ever take me to my desired location. Today, Mary Alice dropped me off at the rec and after working out, next to a man who was convinced that when you sing out loud if you have your headphones on no one can hear you, I headed outside to begin my trek home. When I stepped out into the great outdoors I noticed that it was raining. So, instead of beginning the approximately 1 1/2 mile walk back to the AGD house I decided to wait on the Crimson Ride. Blue 1 pulled up and I hopped on. Now for those of you who have attended this blessed university as long as I have you might say, wait, the Blue 1 isn't going to take you back to the AGD house its Blue Express you want. Yes, my friends I realize that, but not until I got to the stop that was the farthest from the house as possible. This stop happened to be one stop before the rec. So, instead of waiting until a closer stop cam around and risking looking like a little lost freshman to the bus driver I zipped up my jacket stuck my biochem notes in my pocket and headed out into the downpour. As I walked towards the quad I noticed that the puddle sizes were getting bigger and then, when I was half-way across the quad I came across what I would like to call the mother of all puddles (MOAP). There was no dry way around it. When one approaches the MOAP you must either choose to trudge straight through the middle or perform a series of acrobatic leaps through the grass. I chose the later. Needless to say I now sit at my desk, my clothes and notes soaked and my tennis shoes in the drier. My acrobatic leaps were unsuccessful and I stepped full force into 2 inch deep water. Thank you University of Alabama for your amazing drainage system. And to the owner of the green honda that almost mowed me down... your car color is ugly and green cars should not exist.

The ultimate fail

In the spirit of final exams, here are a few insightful ideas if you know you are going to fail an exam anyway. Enjoy.

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam 20 minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Screw this!” and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink).

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

25. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!

26. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”

28. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

29. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

30. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what’s going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

31. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious… like history notes for a calculus exam… otherwise you’re not just failing, you’re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”

32. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, “Okay, let’s double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E….”

33. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting “What? I’m on my way!!”. rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

34. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

35. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

36. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

37. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

38. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

39. Make Strange noises… get people to stare… look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

40. Dress like the professor.

41. Cross-Dress.

42. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

43. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

Roll tide.

Dirty Santa

May I just say Sage looks possessed in the above picture....

Last night marked another successful dirty Santa party. We all headed over to the cave- through the deluge- for an hour of study free fun. The presents were all under the tree and the "fireplace" set the Christmas tone. After some delicious cheese dip thanks to Lolly we began discussing the rules for dirty Santa. Kathy insisted that the gifts remain unopened until the end... why plays like that? Needless to say Lolly took charge and decreed the rules we would follow.

1. Number 1 picks first and may trade gifts with someone at the end

2. A gift may be stolen twice

3. Gift must be opened when chosen

Once that was settled we chose numbers. I was third and stole the lucky bamboo from Morgan. This ballin plant turned out to the the hot item of the night as it was stolen from me a few turns later. The most interesting gift of the evening was the inflatable husband from Jewie. This pint sized punk no proudly stands by the Christmas tree in the cave. Morgan decided to give him a shirt and a few other choice accessories. We now know that our little man should not be washed on or while on acid.... thanks Courtney for reading the warnings!

And this is a masterpiece... Sorry Lolly and MA you just can't compete!