Whenever I am driving through a school zone and pass the traffic director, I always look back in my rear view mirror just to check that that neon vest is still standing. Alarming?
The other day someone was telling me about her twin sister. When I asked if they were identical, she looked confused and stated, "No she's not my twin." Oh...right.
Why is it that we insist on getting the parking spot that is two spaces closer to the building? Do those five extra feet really make much of a difference in the long run?
If I ever catch someone staring at me, I prefer one of two approaches to reciprocate the gesture. 1) Stare back at them until they feel as uncomfortable as they have made me feel (who's the starer now??). 2) Begin laughing to myself while staring contemplatively at the ceiling...all the while seeing how long it takes them to look away. Might as well give them a little show, right?
At weddings, as the doors open and the bride enters the church, I like to be the one to turn around and catch the face of the groom. Oh wait, that idea was already in a movie. (I've now noticed more people doing that since that movie came out, by the way).
Though I am now 20 years old, I still never fail to avoid stepping on the sidewalk cracks. Mom has just had too many back issues to mess around.
Why is it that if I see a penny on the ground, then I will dodge traffic, risk contracting a bacterial disease and bend over in front of everyone behind me in order to pick it up? A dime on the other hand? Nah.
I always feel like the communion plates passed around at church serve as some form of competition. OK we have Bill handing it in from the left...Martha grabs it too quickly and I miss the opportunity to place my offering in it...panic...if I act fast, I can hand my money to the guy behind me to deposit once he is handed the plate...mild hysteria...pass-off occurs...dabbles of sweat break out across my temple...he lands it in the bowl...breathe.
Every once in a blue moon I get the sudden urge to yell out a word or phrase in some absolutely inappropriate place (class, church, etc.). I then pause and think about how this one spontaneous blurt could possibly alter the path my life then takes. I could become a complete social outcast by this mere mutter...I could ruin my grade in the class...I could simply dismiss the outburst as a misinterpretation of some other word phrase (My dog has fleas!!! What? No, I said the answer was B) and move on with my life. Should I really have to contemplate to that extent before making said decision?
I absolutely loathe when I am shopping and making my way down a rack of clothes and someone on the other end, making their way towards me, seems to think I need to move out of the way as they peruse my half. OH friend. I beg to differ.
Elevator buttons remain, to this day, one of the most exhilarating sources of enjoyment.
I simply don't understand when there is a toilet left unflushed. I mean, do you plumb forget? Pretty sure you should have learned that one by now.
There have been many a days when the free samples at Sam's Club have served as my buffet-style lunch.
Speaking of free samples, my life would be incomplete without them.
Why is it that I have a massive test in the morning, an article to critique, a basketball game that I could be attending, a weekly schedule to plan, a body to exercise, a pair of eyes to sleep, a parent to call, a to-do list to stress over, a life to live, a husband to marry, a child to birth, an itch to scratch, a memory to reminisce, and a tale to tell yet I am sitting here writing this blog? Just a thought...
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