Hello my name is the Quad

Its spring and we all know what that means- the quad at the University of Alabama becomes a mecca of shirtless hippies, boys with tiny chick magnet dogs and giant balls. Lets start with specimen number one- the hippies. Once the weather reaches 60 degrees the shirts come off and the tight ropes go up. It is because of these tight ropes that we now have yard signs that say "destruction of the trees- including ropes strung between them- is student nonacademic misconduct"Besides trying to turn our lovely quad into a practice arena for the circus these lovely UA residents also enjoy throwing the frisbee. Now the frisbee is a recreational device that I just cannot endorse. No matter how hard I try the frisbee will always go in the opposite direction I intend. Tell me to throw it at you and you better be standing behind me if you really want to catch it. Therefore when I saw a frisbee flying towards my face the other day as I was treking across the quad I immediately quickened my pace and fled the scene. Just because I have chacos on does not mean I want to stop shaving my arm pits and join you in tight roping across the quad while playing frisbee. The second specimen on our tour around the quad is the boy with the tiny chihuahua. You can't fool me for a second in thinking that you went to the pet store and said "I want man's best friend so let me get this tiny mammal that looks like a glorified rat." No, you had ulterior motives. I know that you went to the pet store and said "What dog will get the most girls to stop and say awww... I know! The smallest, is that really even a dog, dog." You think that we stop and swoon every time we see a tiny creature. You are correct, well played frat boy, well played! Finally, a springtime trip across the quad would not be complete without encountering the giant rolling ball of death. Phi Mu and ZBT have this brilliant philanthropy where they roll this multicolored orb around the grass and get people to sign it. Most, especially small children, jump for joy at the chance to put their John Hancock on a glorified beach ball but not I! Whenever I see this ball rolling toward me with the throng of people chasing after it I avoid it at all cost. I'm not above throwing a small child in the ball's path to impede its forward progress in order to give me time to escape. I feel like I am Indiana Jones and the sphere of death is a bolder trying to crush me into a million pieces. In between dodging frisbees, tiny little rats on leashes and big balls a springtime trip across the quad is not for the faint of heart.